For the Sake of Parents? Marriages of Convenience between Lesbians and Gay Men in China

A marriage of convenience involves a lesbian and a gay man. They know about each other’s sexual orientation but typically do not disclose it to parents. Prior research has often cited parents as a primary source of pressure driving Chinese lesbians and gay men into marriages of convenience. However, parents are also found to be a key source of support for the Chinese LGBTQ+ community. Incorporating perspectives of parents of lesbian and gay individuals, whose voices have rarely been represented, I examine how these parents, in addition to lesbians and gay men, make sense of marriages of convenience. Such marriages imply the tension facing sexual minorities between preserving sexual autonomy and maintaining intergenerational harmony. This tension is fundamentally shaped by the ingrained institution of different-sex marriage that foregrounds reproduction. Marriages of convenience likely consolidate heteronormativity through day-to-day rituals. Both sexual minorities and their parents may internalize heteronormative values and label them as “parental pressure” leading to marriages of convenience. Yet there are prospects that both generations actively navigate the unease of conflicting family/personal interests and leverage intergenerational support to fight against heteronormativity. Drawing on neo-familism, I highlight how familism and individualism are intertwined to shape Chinese families and sexualities.

本研究的研究问题集中在中国同性恋者如何理解和处理形式婚姻的现象，尤其是同性恋者与他们的父母在这一问题上的不同看法。研究旨在探讨父母在同性恋者选择形式婚姻中的角色，尤其是他们如何在保持家庭和谐与接受子女性取向之间找到平衡。此外，研究还关注未婚且尚未出柜的同性恋者在考虑婚姻和出柜问题时面临的抉择，以及他们如何在父母的期望和个人性自主之间进行权衡。

本研究采用了14个半结构化深入访谈，访谈对象包括曾经或正在参与形式婚姻的同性恋者及其同性伴侣、未婚且未出柜的同性恋者以及接受其同性恋或女同性恋子女性取向的父母。访谈在2019年4月至6月间进行，所有参与者均为自愿提供口头同意。由于同性恋话题在中国仍然敏感，研究主要通过滚雪球抽样法招募参与者，首先通过个人LGBTQ+社交网络招募未婚且未出柜的同性恋者，随后通过中国LGBTQ+基层组织招募形式婚姻经历者及其父母。访谈通过在线语音通话进行（除两次外），并经参与者口头同意录音，随后逐字转录。研究数据分析采用了初始编码、In Vivo编码和价值编码等多种方法，通过结合归纳与演绎的方式识别出访谈中的显著主题，并特别关注参与者对婚姻和家庭的价值观。

本研究发现，父母在推动同性恋者进入形式婚姻中的角色并非简单的压迫者。尽管父母的婚姻和生育压力普遍存在，但并非所有父母都支持同性恋者“为了父母”进入形式婚姻。未婚且未出柜的同性恋者也质疑这一理由，更倾向于通过改善亲子沟通而非依赖形式婚姻来解决性取向与家庭之间的张力。此外，研究揭示了中国社会的异性婚姻文化对性少数群体的深远影响，形式婚姻虽然能够暂时满足社会对婚姻的期待，但日常的婚姻仪式和生育责任使同性恋者在实施这些仪式时面临巨大的挑战，从而使得同性身份和关系几乎不可见，进一步巩固了异性恋规范。研究还指出，虽然父母通常认同子女的性取向，但仍深受传统家庭价值观的影响，这种现象反映了中国家庭文化中的亲子关系与性别认同的交织与张力。